| its the end. |
[Aug. 12th, 2008|05:42 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | last final post | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | room. | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | violet hill - coldplay | ] |
Thats it. its the end peeps.
something bad to put behind and move on.
for i've moved on to a new account on lj.
shakeid.livejournal.com
haha.
hopefully it'll have better memories than this depressing account.
so.
looking back on all the post, i cant help but smile.
withing a short period of time, so many things can happen.
for now.
to a better life, to better memories in the future. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 12th, 2008|03:22 pm] |
This isn't the end. It's just the start of something new.
Look on the bright side, you get to do what you've been wanting to do & you get to explore, be it the world, people & etc. Get to know yourself better!
You're missing out everything good in this world Shahid. So let yourself loose & enjoy =)
Like i've promised, "daim". |
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| because i said i would... |
[Aug. 7th, 2008|04:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hopeful | ] |
Im hoping, this would be your last entry here...
I dont have words of wisdom.
I cannot tell you that i know how u feel...
Because you have this series of unfortunate events,
which i cannot imagine how you're dealing with.
But i can tell you for sure, You're going to be alright.
Firstly, cos this is the last time.
You're wiser and i trust you wont put yourself
through this horror again.
Second, the path in life is never straight.
What good would it be if the journey was a clear one?
You would have the bearest of experiences and minimum
exposure to the world. Take this as an opportunity
to achieve exactly what you want. Never settle for
anything less. And on that same note, never settle for
anyone less...
Everything happens for a reason.
And this though tragic, has happened for a reason too.
Just like everything else that exists,
we too have our place in this universe.
Our existance no less important than each other.
The occurances of the universe are not without reason.
It is we who fail to see the big picture.
Hang in there and wait for it to unfold...
There is one, and good will come out of this.
love,
M
PS it is always darkest before dawn. and we both know this first hand. |
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| x___x |
[Aug. 7th, 2008|01:55 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | x___x | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | room | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  uncomfortable | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | violet hill - coldplay | ] |
I never thought that you would ever do that,
everything we had is gone
said you loved me,
said you never leave me,
maybe i just heard your wrong
cause im damaged,i don't know what to do,
so damaged because of you.
got rid of those things you left,
like you got rid of our dreams
don't wanna be reminded of all of the memories
I use to have the recepit saved from some of our outings
but that don't really matter now cause you threw our love away.
you should have told me your trying to find a start
I thought I was your only,
till you put me on the shelf and,
found somebody else.
its almost like you were never here,
I almost feel like I don't care cause,
I almost got rid of all the pain
the only thing I have left to say is how good,
you leave me so damaged
you should have told me,
cause now im torn apart,
thought that I was your only,
till you put me on the shelf and,
found sumbody else |
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| depresso.. |
[Aug. 6th, 2008|01:49 am] |
so here i am.
beside atok updating my blog.
hes been really sick
bed-ridden.
changing him every now and then.
keeping quiet.
looking at him.
well since im really depressed due to a series of unfortunate event.
i decided to volunteer myself in taking the night shift taking care of him.
for the moment now im just gona shut myself from the outside world.
reading the kite runner and feeling really really low,
despite having afew important people around me who never fail to cheer me up.
thanks tiara,fieka,eqa,shining,shahsha and not forgetting mummy who never fails
to understand her ignorant son.
i really love and treasure you people alot.
maybe theres more to life then just feeling down and depressed because of things
that happened around me.
i've learnt alot of things in this shitty relationship.
people go to extreme extent when they are in love.
simply it means people do crazy things when they are in love.
changing themselves and also do lots of things that they dont usually do
for that significant someone.
sadly i dont really have that significant someone anymore.
that someone that means alot to me.
my everyday.
my used to be only pillar of support eventhou half the time shes not there.
but its always enough to know that atleast we're still talking.and loving me ehems.maybe that part
im not too sure.
but yes have been always telling myself that she does.
ouh well.
things are definitely gona be different this time round.
its hard i admit trying to move on.
its like cows without the black spots.
the earth without the sun and the moon.
thats the only way i can think of to really express myself in the state that i am in right now
living life without you.
but then again i understand.it wont matter to you.
and im getting so used to it.
ouh well.
lifes unfair.
hopefully i'll be able to get thru this shitty phase in life.
like what my dearest sister told me,
''we face problems because thats the only thing that will make us a better person in the future''
feeling stronger after this perhaps.i dont know.i just hope after all this i wont get hurt easily,
not by girls especially.
heh.
im still trying to move therefore i've not settled down and thus still updating in this depressing account.
just telling yar.
signing off.
olSkd |
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| final post. |
[Aug. 4th, 2008|11:49 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | final post. | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | void deck | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | violet hill - coldplay | ] |
this will be the last post that im posting into this depressing livejournal account.
your right mariam.
i should really take out all my feelings and thoughts about her,put it in a box and bury it.
im back again at square one.
been here before.and now again.
its because i love her thats why im here again right.
never fail to forgive and be there.
its all because of love right.
to extreme extent.
that i failed to prepapre myself for the worst to come.
sitting down.clueless to what i've done to deserve it.
every single shits.
heartwrecking.mind bothering.soul-searching.
right.
you're probably think your at the peak of your life right now.
good for you.
dont worry bout people around you.
just be happy.
im happy.that your happy.
its good that you know what you want,
and not shy to express it.
this will be the last time im leaving you.
whatever you do please dont come back.
its enough for me.
everynight before sleeping i pray hard that i'll forget you the next morning.
dont worry i'll pick myself up and move.
im gona move to a new account,
when im really settled down and ready.
something new to look forward to and new posts.
happy ones and not sad depressing ones.
im just gona leave everything behind.
fuck those good memories that we had.
if you can just change and snap out of it.
theres no point saving the good memories.
cause it all goes to waste.
so yea.
hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for me..
i have always and never did stop loving you until tonight. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2008|02:00 pm] |
The Boy With The Yellow Shoes
=) |
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| save our souls |
[Jul. 27th, 2008|01:05 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | room | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | save our souls - electrico | ] |
past few days have been really fun.
it seems goin out everyday is taking a toll on my health.
hah.
i think i've been smoking way too much.
firstly im losing my voice and then my throat's really dry.
lets just hope it wont bleed again.
afterall.i've bled enough.
went to RP to watch my fav local band of all local bands
ELECTRICO !! haha.
i was over the roof when they played Save Our Souls.
its like it just stopped time with their mind capturing moving lights as the band backdrop. *gag*
of course it was perfect.
eqa and hanis.fieka and lan.i was eating myself from inside.
standing there listening to the song.
laughing away my sadness and depriveness of your touch, of your presence beside me.
listening to the song again when im home.
it just thrash my feelings.ripping me apart bit by bit.
maybe its me.
maybe its just the thing about the song and that moment in time in RP.
heh.
anyway.after the super duper wuper uber electrico performance
i left for Orchard Towers to 3 Monkeys to watch Kumar.
my aunty of course being a typical indian was late.
hahaha...
oke oke an inside joke by kumar.
he was damn funny lah and hes really really good.
that was my first time there and im damn sure it wont be my last.
i'll definitely drag along some friends with for his next shows.
Every Friday and Saturday.
and so its sunday today.
the day officially known as the day of the week that i hate the most.
i dont hate monday.
i just hate sunday.
dont ask why its jsut me. heh.
thinking of all the things that've happened.
no way can it be like before.
dissappointing and heart wreacking,
im wondering why did i love you for..
you seem so comfortable with him yesterday
doesnt it even hit you once that i was there
telling the whole world that i dont need you
but infact all the while i was searching and looking for you..
blergh~
haii.im sigining off.
parting today will dissappoint you. |
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| ouh, its coming again.. |
[Jul. 17th, 2008|03:07 pm] |
Its the month that i've been waiting for.
JULY !!!
hahaha.oke well not as happy as it was like last year when everyone
was here.
This time theres only Sarah,Mariam and Niah..we're missing Adil.
heh.
but its fun.have been goin out alot lately.
gawd im having my eye-bags again.
schools starting soon.
looking forward to it.feeling a little bit nervous.
hopefully i'll have new friends again -___-
hahaha.
and so its the 17 again.
feeling like usual.nothing special.
being alone and not even the slightest attention.
eventhou i have mentioned.
sitting down im wondering
ouh am i really the one your loving
sick and tired of being dispair
thinking bout you everyday everywhere.
Day in and day out
your with your L.A crew
making me mad and feeling more blue
proving me right that
hey maybe its time i leave you.
Gettting replaced everynow so often
so many times that i've forgotten
the fact why i love you
when everyday im hating you.
right now im so sick of being alone
everyday im staring at my broken phone
hopefully my bloodvessel wont burst
leaving you i'll definitely be the first
heh.
was sitting down at macdonalds yesterday
feeling really bored that i came out with that.
cheering myself up.like i always did.
thinking will it be the same like last time again.
haiyoh.
*hiak-dish* |
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| motion-graphics killed my girlfriend.. |
[Jun. 27th, 2008|12:49 am] |
i understand being a deisgner,
or do things that involved designing,is really tough.
Cracking your brains to come up with good ideas,new design.
sketches, initial ideas, planning, final lay-out, colour schemes.
old projects.new projects its never ending.
datelines to meet. overdued datelines to worry about.
even when theres holiday it wont feel like your having a holiday.
crazy right. not to some.
oke maybe again its not that your busy,its just plain lazy.( refering to myself too )
oke im sure not everybody is agreeing to this but im just saying it generally.
i know your busy,
but seriously even the slightest attention will do.
a msg,a phonecall to asked what im doing and stuff.
it will seriously make my day.
just to know you care. |
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